Bert and the Rocky Horror...

At the tender age of 12 years old a friend came round to my house bearing a video which he claimed I might like. Up until this point I'd only heard the name 'Rocky Horror' in passing, though I do remember seeing it in a video shop once when I was ickle. My dad said I would like it, but I wanted to rent The Last Unicorn for the hundreth time, so there you go. So anyway, I sat down with my friend and we put the video on.

I noticed somthing was odd about this film when I heard the 'alternate' version of the 20th Century Fox Film's theme.

The screen darkened.

The wind began to howl.

The music began.

And a pair of disembodied red lips came floating towards us.

Now at this point I was tempted to turn to my friend and say "well, this looks thrilling," then it began...

"Michael Rennie was ill,
The day the earth stood still...."

And I was from then on caught in the web of 'Rocky'.

For the next hour and a half I sat open-mouthed at the scenes that unfolded before me...

Young couples in love...

Raging storms...

Creepy servants...

Transvestites...

Creations...

Mad doctors...

Aliens...

And a whole lot of singing along the way.

The film ended... my friend left... and I wanted more.

The next day at school, I ranted and raved to my friends about the Rocky Horror Picture Show. It was then that I discovered that some of my other friends had also seen it and some had also seen a live show.

My jaw dropped.

I had no idea that there was a live version.

For the next week I quizzed them about the show. "Who's in it? Is it like the film? How does this scene work?"

After a while they snapped.

A few days later one of my friends brought a program guide for the show she saw when she was nine. I nearly drowned in my own drool.

The show she had seen had been in the late eighties. I recognised none of the cast members, but just looking at the pictures caused my lust to grow.

After a while, the craze dulled and I resumed an 'normal' life, but Rocky was ever present in my mind.

A few months later on a shopping excursion with my parents, I happend to pass a small video section in a shop. So, having twenty quid to blow, I ambled on over.

Nothing caught my eye so I tuned to leave with the idea of money = junk food.

Then I saw it, tucked away in a corner near the door.

'The Rocky Horror Picture Show.'

After a small fit of screams I bought the video.

For the rest of the day, I begged and pleaded to my parents to go home, but they persisted in looking at every damn shop.

Finally, after a gruelling three hours I was home, in my room, and in front of the telly.

And then it all happened again.

The lips...

The songs...

The fun...

In that one day, I watched 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' four times.

For the next few years of my life, I struggled on through school, exams and my eventual realisation that I was gay (nothing to do with Rocky), so we shall skip this bit.

It was the 6th of May 1998, a Friday. I was at the tender age of 16 when I first saw the 'Rocky Horror Show.'

Decked out in my rather crap Riff-Raff outfit (which, to be fair, took me ages to sort out) I joined a small group of friends and we set forth to, what was for me, a momentous occasion. When we arrived, my first thought was, "maybe we'll be the only ones in costumes!" When two guys in head to toe drag wandered past, I realised I was wrong.

The show was amazing.

At the end my voice was hoarse from all the shouting and singing I'd done and my hands promised never to work again. That put a dampener on my night life... <g>.

We left the theatre, and I vowed that I would see the show again.

Now in the year 2001, I have seen the show four times and I eagerly await the next tour. Untill then I have the film, the soundtracks and the happy memories of Rocky.

Bert