The Wicker Man.

Review by Bert.

Plot:

A devout Christian policeman is sent a letter about a missing girl on a remote Scottish island, asking him to come and investigate. Arriving at the island he's met by the less than helpful locals who claim to have no knowledge of the girl.

As he investigates further he starts to notice, some rather intresting... um... things, that the natives indulge in. These include singing songs about sex (while dancing round a nicely shaped maypole), shagging in the streets and (my personal favourite!) a bunch of naked bints leaping over a fire... carefully I might add.

After still more investigation the, now rather confused, policeman finds that the girl is real, but is dead, and has now become a hare. Understandably he's a bit miffed, so he visits the island's lord and leader (played by Christopher Lee!!!!!!) in the vague hope of getting some answers... ones that make sense that is. After a nice speech about how the island works from the island's lord, the nice but simple officer realises that the entire island is involved in Paganistic rituals.

So after yet more research (hey we're covering all the facts here) the policeman finally gets round to the conclusion that the girl in question is alive, but is due to be sacrificed by all the nutty Pagans. Soooo in what little time he, and indeed the film crew have left, he must find the girl and put a stop to all this sillyness.

Review:

Goooood Movie!!!!!

Ok the main character is piss annoying, but it's still cool. Here we have a major christian who marches onto this island expecting them all to be, like him, christians. As the slow realisation that they are, in fact, all pagans dawns, he stands there yelling at them all to stop it... gee, that's gonna work. The point (per-chance) is that these people might just have a different view to life than him.

As the film progresses we get to see the various fun things the pagans get up to, the best one being the masked parade through the town (made only slightly worrying by the sight of Christopher Lee in a very pretty yellow dress and wig... nuff said really). And, of course, the ever famous scene where Britt Ekland, who is completely in the nip, does a rather raunchy song and dance routine trying to woo the nice policeman into her arms. Point of interest, if he'd given in and went to her Orchid, he'd have had a happier ending.

So, cool film about alternative ways of life, showing just because you believe in something that others don't, shouting about about it at the top of your lungs ain't really gonna help much.