What Pokémon Characters Will Be Doing in Twenty Years Time.

Ash: After getting over the massive trauma of Pikachu's death, aged two (what? it's a mouse!) and finally realising he's a crap pokémon trainer, gets a job in a burger bar. He's currently taking the management training course again, and is hoping to pass this time.

Brock: Owns a pokémon breeding centre, but has to supplement his income by working nights as a bartender. Is still a virgin.

Misty: Learned to love Psyduck.

James: Married the Celadon city Officer Jenny. They met when she arrested him for shoplifting following the disbanding of Team Rocket. Kinda like Raising Arizona, but with different accents.

Jesse: Married Giovanni. She wanted his money, he wanted kids. They have one son, Raymundo (called Mondo for short). When Team Rocket was disbanded they divorced, because he wasn't rich any more. She now lives in Celadon city (with Mondo) near James and Jenny and runs self-defense classes.

Butch & Cassidy: Got married and started their own law firm. Couldn't carry on being criminals as Giovanni could no longer buy them out of jail.

Professor Oak & Ash's mum: Still living in sin. Still haven't told Ash who his real father is. Underwear still features greatly in her life.

Tracey: After one too many cruel taunts about his name, cracked. Was shot dead by police marksmen after a three hour gunfight.

Richie: Became a pokémon master.

All the Joys: Had a joint coming out party.

Todd: Became a famous porn director.

Meowth: Finally evolved. Got over his intense dislike of persians and had kittens with Giovanni's persian.

Misty's sisters: Died in a tragic water tank accident. Horsea missing, presumed dead.

The rest of the Jennies: Got fed up with crap pay of police force. Became strippers.

Bill: Dragonite finally came back, and ate him.

Zapdos: Got spat on. Short circuited.

Gary: Abandoned by his fanclub when they discovered secret love letters to Ash that he'd been too scared to send. Re-entered pokémon league, but all his pokémon defected at the last minute. Now working as a PR representative.

Togepi: Became boss of large crime syndicate.

Mewtwo: Got stuck to a wall and starved to death. (Brief note of explanation, we think Mewtwo should be able to climb walls with his hands, because his fingers look like they have suckers on the end)

The Amazing Mandy: Finally had the operation.

Moltres: Got spat on. Went out.

Lt. Surge: Was caught possessing child pornography.

Sabrina: After a tragic accident involving a curry and her Kadabra, ended up teleported into a wall.

Mew: Still lost.

Koga: Fell into a Muk, was found after three days. Gave up pokémon training shortly after.

Blaine: Burnt to death after his growlithe caught a heavy cold.

Lorelei & Lance: Got married. Had lots of children whose names began with L.

Articuno: Pneumonia.

Bruno: Was revealed as Brock's real dad. (Flint was his mum). Finally found a shirt.

Agatha: Died of natural causes. She is with the ghosts now.

Chansey: Boiled slowly.

Lickitung: Was licked.

Psyduck: King of the world.

Arbok & Weezing: Eloped and had strange babies. See illustration by Ceefax's bloke.