The Cham-Cham.

Set: Love the groovy art, man.

Military Mindset: Open the sealed orders: 'bark like a dog, bitch!'

What is it Good For: WHAT ENEMY? Who is everyone at war with?

Convoooooooy: Cool, the cargo's giant cigars!

Dangerous Game: I like the music. Which disturbs me, as I've never thought of myself as an easy listening fan.

Bedroom Antics: There's a body in Tin-Tin's bed! She's sitting on it to conceal it, but you can still see the outline. Man, they must really be starved for entertainment on that damn island...

Dangerous Game 2: John's opinion doesn't sound too sincere to me. Sarky little bastard.

"The radio's gone dead...": Thanks, we hadn't noticed.

History Repeating: "This is the third time this has happened, Shyler..." Then stop it. Like you need more missiles anyway. Take a bloody hint, you dippy puppets.

Gaga: Radio Maxwell - Robert Maxwell? It's wierd, the things some people's minds snap to...

Armani: Alan and Scott are looking very snazzy. Must be jazz night.

Exposition: Scott's doing the explanatory dialogue this week. And it looks like he's last some weight. And some pelvis.

The Riding Out: Alternate plan - drop a bomb on Lady P's house and send a small dog on the mission (I'm nothing if not consistant).

It's a Date: I. Hate. Parker. And so does Cook (Does he mean Lil? 'Cos I can't see her getting excited over him dressed as an Italian homosexual. She'd probably hit him with the stew pot).

Alias: I. Hate. Wanda. Lamour. And you could have someone's eye out with those tits.

Disguised: Yes, Parker, someone you know well has exchanged wigs, and now you can't tell who they are or what's going on around you.

The Things I Do: Heh. Lady P going down (well at Paradise Peaks). She'll do anything for International Rescue...

Ladybird, Possibly: Tin-Tin's plane's cute.

Abduction: All these shots of the ski-lift are making me want to watch the X-Files...

Secret Agent Woman: "Perhaps it's just this disguise that's making me nervous." Say it a bit louder, Penny, I don't think they quite heard you at the back. Also, what is it you do, again?

That's Entertainment: Does the Cass Carnaby Five actually know any other songs?

Muppetry: The puppet musicians aren't too bad. Certainly an improvement on the ones in Stingray. Which is more than can be said for the puppet applause.

Secret Agent Woman 2: Why couldn't they just've disguised Lady P as a waitress or something?

Ladies' Man: Cass and Tin-Tin - he's so smooth. Although I'm not quite sure why he has a photo of the Duchess of Royston on his wall...

Ladies' Man 2: Olsen and Lady P - he's so smooth.

Secret Agent Man: I see Parker's got this whole subtlety business figured out.

Phone Home: "Calling Internation Rescue..." International Rescue? I remember them. They used to rescue people, I liked them...

Down in the Lab: Brains, stop making disco mixes and get on with the decoding.

Codes: They gave Brains a copy of the bible, and he found predictions of the Kennedy assassination.

Wheeee! Skiing puppets cool.

Evil Olsen: There's a baby duck trapped in that computer!

Wheeee! 2 Jet packs! Bastards! Horizontal jet packs, but still...

Snowball: Hey, is that Bugs Bunny hiding around the corner? Stupid cartoon puppets.

Din-dins: Brains and Alan refusing to eat Grandma's cooking - sounds perfectly sensible to me.

Comms: "Scott, get me Washinton D.C." 'What, all of it?'

Americans Are Funny: Dumb military Americans even more so.

Persuasion: The Commander at Matthews Field wasn't convinced - buzz him with TB2.

So Close: OK, buzz him with TB1. I was close...

Doooooom: "Only Penelope can save us now..." We're fucked.

Stop, Thief: Why have the evil (you can tell they're evil - just look at their eyeshadow) pseudo-European people (who are presumably this 'enemy' that no-one's willing to go into great detail about) stolen London Airport's siren?

Dangerous Game 3: I liked the tune - before Lady P started singing.

Delegation: "Virgil, you'd better get out to Paradise Peaks. Penelope and Tin-Tin could be in great danger. Alan, you'd better go with him." 'Gordon, clean the bathroom.'

Ah, Smug Mode: That was really quite classy, with the fighters and the diverting and stuff. Then Scott was all smug, bless his little cotton socks.

Meanwhile, Back on the Piste: Why does the cable car alarm sound in the bedroom of the cabaret act? ("Right Cass, two shows a night, do absolutely everything Olsen tells you, no matter how depraved, and rescue anyone stuck in the cable car. OK?")

Abduction 2: The cable car scenes get more and more like the X-Files...

Magnetic Grabs: Stupid cheap aluminium cable cars...

Gender Studies: Parker gets sent on top of the cable car. Because it would be laughable for the young, strong, capable, able-bodied women to do that - yes, much better to send the middle-aged vertigo sufferer.

30 Minutes Later: How big is this mountain?

Happiness Is: Alan sounds quite pleased that they're not going to make it. Him and Tin-Tin must've been arguing.

Mary Fucking Poppins: If there was any justice (or gravity) in the world, Parker would have fallen to his death.

Secret Agent Man 2: "You don't think anyone from the hotel knows we're from International Rescue, do you?" (Sigh) Say it a bit louder, Virg...

Interpersonal Relations: Aw, bless Alan, all jealous about Tin-Tin and Cass. Although he really should loosen up with the possessiveness.

And Finally: The song is in my head! It's in my head, and I can't get it out...!