The Man from U.N.C.L.E. is better than Bond.

The layout of this little time-wasting peice of meaningless was (once again. And only mostly) stolen from SFX magazine, but at least this time they've stopped running the articles in question ("Isn't it about time..." if you want to look them up in the back issues. And they are quite interesting). Besides, I've deviated from the format enough that nobody should get upset. Not sure why I'm calling attention to it, really...

MfU has often been accused of being a) a Bond rip-off, and b) shite, but I actually prefer it (In fact, the last disagreement (er, argument) I had with my father was over MfU. He doesn't like it. The main reason behind his dislike seemed to be the polo-necks (He also had some minor quibbles over the acting, writing and direction, but the polo-necks seemed to be his main concern). Strange man). Anyway, below is a half-arsed justification of the above opinion (mine, not my dad's). Well, it's really just me arguing with myself for attempted comic purposes... sorry...

The Case for the Defense: Oh, please. More attactive secret agents. Also, you get a choice.

The Case for the Prosecution: You do get a choice with Bond, just not at the same time... Unless you're watching Casino Royale. But that doesn't really count.

D: Less crappy comic-book style one-liners.

P: Really? Watched the show at all, lately?

D: No, no bugger'll show it... Anyway, less 'superhuman' characterisation. They get the crap beaten out of them occasionally. And they look scared when things come running towards them with big huge battle axes etc.

P: That's because Bond's cooler.

D: Yes, cool to the point of predictable boredom.

P: Predictable? Like MfU never recycled plots. From Stingray in one case...

D: I wasn't talking about predictable plots, I was talking about predictable characters. Any form of fiction is predictable in that you can be fairly sure that the good guys are going to win in the end. What makes it interesting is how that outcome is reached. And in MfU's case, the characterisation is mostly responsible for keeping the audience interested.

P: Mmm. Shame about the budget.

D: Every TV show or movie has to work to it's budget. You can't judge quality solely on the basis of how much money was thrown at the project.

P: Look, this is ridiculous. There really is no comparison here. The Bond movies are a world-wide phenomenon, based on a very popular (and very good) series of novels. MfU was a little piss-take TV series that went for three-and-a-bit series' in the sixties. If it wasn't for Bond, there wouldn't have been MfU.

D: True. Bond does have more artistic integrity, especially on the literary front. This does not make it more enjoyable, and my problem with Bond (the movies, at least. Especially the later ones) is the lack of effort. Yes, it is very popular, and yes, there is an enormous budget to play with, but it still seems to be lacking something character-wise, that MfU has mastered. When you get right down to it, Solo and Kuryakin are much more human than Bond.

P: It's escapism. Everyone wants to be a super-cool secret agent. Besides, if you want loveable, human, characters, there's always Q.

D: Yes. Shame he's dead.

P: Oh, and Leo G. Carroll's earning six million per movie these days?

D: Let's move on before this gets ugly... I personally find MfU's view of multi-cultural harmony a lot more uplifting than Bond's commie-bashing.

P: A little naïve, I feel... Like most spy novels of the era (and since), the Bond series was greatly influenced by the Cold War. Besides which, from the League of Nations to the U.N, such organisations have never been of much practical use.

D: Ah, but U.N.C.L.E. had far more cool gadgets than the U.N.

P: Cool gadgets cannot bring about world peace.

D: But they had exploding money clips and everything...

P: Really?

D: Really.

P: Really?

D: Yes, really. Stop it.

P: Fine. In that case, I'm going to have to mention theme tunes.

D: Damn you! It's not as if the MfU theme's bad after all... But you can't expect anything to compete with Bond themes...

P: It pleases me to hear my learned colleague speaking so highly of the defendant.

D: Well, speaking highly of the theme tune.

P: And for my next winning argument... Bond may have deviated from it's origins, but at least it's managed to keep it's popularity, and it's franchise. It's not artistic integrity that counts (although we'd win on that too), it's bums on seats.

D: Ah, but Bond and MfU can coexist...

P: And I thought I was doing you a favour by not bringing that up... Note it wasn't in a Bond movie.

D: But you admit Bond deviated from it's origins. MfU set out to be a tongue-in-cheek comedy, and succeeded. Bond set out to be a (more-or-less) serious drama. And ended up being a tongue-in-cheek comedy.

P: And did it better.

D: Err... No. And MfU had a spin-off series!

P: And what do think MfU was spun off from?

D: Taking the piss out of something is hardly the same thing as being spun off from something.

P: You know, I always thought of MfU as lovingly satiring, rather than taking the piss.

D: Yeah, fair enough. Wanna get a burger?

P: Okay. And I know it's going against the trend, but I always preferred Napoleon...

D: Aw, but Illya's so cute! Things are looking up for Bond, at least. How many more movies do you think Pierce Brosnan's gonna do?

P: I heard he was signed on for the next two...

Look, I'm sorry, okay? If you can think of a better ending/a more productive way to kill a few hours of my precious time, I'm all ears.