Compressed Blake's 7 episode, no.3.

"Blake's 7 - The Twilight years." Or, "Avon's 5"

By Ceefax.

(Flight deck of Scorpio)

VILA: I miss Blake. (Pours himself a drink)

Tarrant strides heroically in.

TARRANT: Right, what's the feeble plot device this week?

VILA: We're looking for Blake. Same as every week.

TARRANT: Shut up you little turd, who asked you anyway?

SOOLIN: (filing her nails) Yes, but we never actually bother looking for Blake, do we?

VILA: But we said at the beginning of series three we were going to find Blake and Jenna.

SOOLIN: Really?

VILA: Yeah.

SOOLIN: Why didn't anyone tell me?

TARRANT: (stamping his foot) Hello, isn't anyone listening to me? What're we doing?

DAYNA: Why don't you ask Avon? He is the one is charge.

Tarrant mutters unintelligably to himself and goes to sulk in a corner.

SOOLIN: Why don't we go and land on some planet? Things generally happen then.

VILA: Bet you a fiver Servalan shows up.

DAYNA: Bet you a tenner Avon gets off with her.

VILA: You're on.

They shake. Avon enters the flight deck.

AVON: Slave?

SLAVE: Yes, Master?

AVON: Set course for that little knobbly planet over there.

SLAVE: Nothing would give me more pleasure, Master.

Vila and Dayna exchange knowing looks.

AVON: Tarrant? What are you doing in the corner? We need you to fly the ship.

TARRANT: Don't wanna.

AVON: We'll set Orac on you...

TARRANT: All right, already...

He takes the ship into orbit, then skulks back to his corner. Avon gives him a pitying glare.

AVON: Right, Vila, Dayna, Soolin, come with me. Someone bring Orac. Tarrant, go to your room.

TARRANT: It's not fair! I hate you! (exits)

VILA: Why are we going anyway?

AVON: We're going to look for crystals.

DAYNA: Again?

AVON: Yes.

SOOLIN: Someone should really stop the script editors watching so much Star Trek.

Cut to surface of planet. Orac has been left behind to work the teleport and make sure Tarrant gets his nap. Everyone else teleports down.

VILA: (bored and unsurprised) Oh look. It's Servalan.

DAYNA: (Squinting through sandstorm) Oh, yeah. Good thing we left Tarrant behind, especially with all this sand around.

They all snigger, apart from Avon who has crept off surreptitiously in the direction of Servalan

VILA: I really miss Travis.

SOOLIN: Why?

VILA: Because Avon didn't try to shag him at every opportunity. (Sigh) Well, let's go get him. At least it's too sandy to do anything. Comfortably, anyway.

Dayna pulls a pistol out of her pants.

DAYNA: Check it out, I built a stun-gun.

SOOLIN: Cool! Can I have a go?

DAYNA: Okay! (hands it over)

Soolin aims carefully at the two remote figures, and fires. They both collapse.

DAYNA: Nice one! (They hi-five)

The three remaining crewmembers trudge over to the unconscious bodies.

DAYNA: I've got this really-painful-killing machine...

VILA: Well... he is technically our leader...

DAYNA: No, you idiot, for Servalan.

VILA: Huh? Kill Servalan?

DAYNA: Yes, you remember, the thing that we've had a million chances to do, but never actually go through with because we're far too nice; even though Avon didn't have much of a problem with killing Travis...

VILA: No, we can't do that, she's contracted until the end of the series.

SOOLIN: We might as well, after all, she's not even in the last episode.

VILA: Nah, better not.

DAYNA: Fine. But I'm going to kick her. (Kicks her)

SOOLIN: Feel better?

DAYNA: Not really... Let's get out of here, I'm getting sand in some really nasty places.

SOOLIN: Okay. (calls for teleport)

End credits.