The Mini-Blake's 7 Couch Potatoes.

Series One, Episode Seven.
Mission to Destiny.

The tape isn't in quite the right place, so an advert for the new Randell and Hopkirk series is discussed until the show starts. The Ortega flies by...

Bert: Wasn't that the ship the prisoners were on?

Ceefax: Yeah. Except that this is a different ship entirely.

Bert: With a very bored man flying it.

Rafford: We have reached course delta red two.

Bert: We were aiming for red three you moron! That's the other way! And now we get dramatic music as he picks up his... scanner... and scans in his porn pictures. (As he starts making notes...) He's cheating, he's tracing the pictures!

Rafford gets smacked round the head.

Bert: (In Pepperpot voice) Oh! You bad boy!

Ceefax: You've smeared the jam everywhere...

Bert: That's actually quite realistic blood, compared to some. Dr Who never got realistic blood. All it got was Harry being eaten by large clams.

Ceefax: Is that a metaphor?

Bert: No... a large clam ate him. It bit his leg and he squealed like a girl. And on the Liberator, going through a very dark bit of space...

Ceefax: Which is rather unusual for them, usually they're surrounded by a million galaxies.

Bert: They haven't changed their clothes since last episode. That's really skanky.

Blake: (About a little ship on the screen going in circles) It's circling all the time?

Bert: Yes. We don't know why.

Ceefax: We don't care, either.

Bert: Avon comes in, 'Blake, Jenna, that's the clock.'

Jenna: That ship's in trouble.

Bert: You can tell by the way it's going 'mip mip mip mip'.

Ceefax: They're mips of distress.

Bert: Road Runner cries for help.

Blake asks Zen for info on the ship.

Zen: Complete data is extensive.

Bert: 'We've got two files...'

Zen: It is estimated that you will require one hundred and twenty eight hours to assimilate all available data on Galaxy Class cruisers.

Ceefax: At least he tells you, and doesn't launch straight into it. That would have made for a boring series.

A shot of the Liberator...

Bert: Agh, it's coming straight for us!

... and a shot of the Ortega.

Ceefax: It looks like a Sea Monkey. Except a bit squarer.

Bert: And in space.

Ceefax: Well, obviously.

Back on the Flight Deck.

Bert: Has Avon been there all the time? Is he sellotaped to the chair or something? (Avon impression) 'Blake, could you please undo me, I put too much hair gel on this morning, and now I'm stuck...'

Ceefax: 'I promise I won't be sarcastic any more, just please undo the sellotape...'

Bert: What the fuck is with the Robin Hood outfits?

Ceefax: (Slightly hysterical) They're not Robin Hood outfits, they're pirate outfits!

Bert: (Slightly defensive) They look like they're bloody well going off to the woods any second to start singing, except for Avon, who's still dressed as a Time Lord!

Ceefax: And Cally, who's an elf.

Bert: She is a bit... (Cally impression) 'I'm not talking to you, Blake, you left me on that planet last episode. No-one remembered me...'

Ceefax: 'And it was my birthday too...'

Back on the telly, Blake has made a vague suggestion about work to Vila, who's taken aback.

Vila: You don't need me to come over!

Bert: Over what?

On-screen, Jenna smirks.

Bert: She gets it! Good old Jenna, can rely on her to get the smut.

There's another exterior shot.

Ceefax: Space Sea Monkeys...

Bert: I see what's going to happen, they're gonna strap themselves on the back and surf.

Ceefax: What, surfing on the Sea Monkey? That sounds really dirty in a non-specific way...

Blake and co. teleport onto the Ortega, and begin nosing around.

Cally: These space condition reports are recent.

Ceefax: 'Still a vaccuum. Some hydrogen atoms today, very excited.'

Avon: (to Vila, over the communicator) It's very quiet here. If it should get noisy, I'll be in touch.

Bert: PAAAARRRTY! (Avon impression) 'We're now having a party...'

Cally and Blake find a corridor and start investigating. They come across a room with a man and a woman inside, both unconscious and both sprawled over a bed.

Bert: Mmm. Wild party.

Ceefax: I would just like to point out that the bloke Cally's feeling up is me bloke's uncle.

Bert: He gets about, doesn't he? He was in Les Mis and stuff.

Ceefax: He was in a couple of episodes of Blackadder as well.

Bert: (impressed) Bloody hell! (Briefly paying attention to what Blake's doing) Stop slapping the corpse! 'Wake up , you bitch! Nah, she's dead.' (Back to the subject at hand) This is so disturbing! Cally's feeling your boyfriend's uncle's arse! That's vaguely kinky. And now she's fallen asleep on him...

Ceefax does sucking noises.

Bert: Eww, no, don't! Too close to home... (pause) Ewww...

The evil sonovapour begins to affect Blake and Cally.

Bert: (Blake impression) 'Oooo, Cally, look at my finger...'

Ceefax: 'I can see the music...'

Bert: 'I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN!' As opposed to Avon, who's just the queen. Is that your bloke's uncle's big role, just lying there dead?

Ceefax: No, he gets some lines later.

Bert: 'I got better...'

Avon: He's the fourth one I've found, all of them unconscious.

Bert: (Avon impression) 'And they're all so ugly. Not up to my standards at all.' Meanwhile, Cally's...

Ceefax: Found a corridor.

Bert: 'Ooo, ooo, Cally to Blake, Cally to Blake...' No, wait, sorry... 'Cally!' 'Blake?' 'No, no, I'm Cally you're Blake and I've found a corridor!' And now we flick to camera two, which is using a different kind of film altogether...

Ceefax: They must've run out of the expensive stuff. 'Have a rummage through the bins, there's bound to be some old videos in there somewhere, we'll use them.'

Avon finds the sonovapour cannister stuck into the air filtering system.

Bert: Great, it's a Soda Stream. What are they doing?

Ceefax: Increasing the oxygen levels so everyone'll wake up faster. And then hyperventilate, then die. But never mind.

Bert: The controls are so pretty...

Ceefax: All shiny and perspexy.

Bert: But it's just as bad as Star Trek though, when you've got all the controls, but no words, and yet everyone can work them perfectly. And then they go onto a Klingon ship and they can work everything perfectly too... And Cardassian... and Ferengi... Doesn't anything baffle you people?

There's something written in blood on the porn scanner...

Avon: Five four one two four. Whatever that might mean.

Bert: 'Did he mean to use his kidney as a full stop?'

Ceefax: 'No, I think it just plopped out...'

Cally: But it is important. He must have been dying when he wrote it.

Bert: The guy comes round... 'That's my lunchbox.'

Loud, squeaky screams are heard from outside...

Ceefax: DOOOOCCCCTTTOOOOOoooooooooooooOOOOOOOR!

Bert: 'Avon, stop screaming!'

Another exterior shot of the Liberator and the Ortega circling.

Bert: That looked kinda dirty, actually...

Ceefax: (Confused) In what way?

Bert: Things circling, and the pointy bits of the Liberator going towards the centre...

Ceefax: Yes, dear.

Bert: It is smutty! It is!

In the Ortega crew room, everyone's awake and chatting.

Bert: (Looking at Dr Kendall) Nice collar, mate.

Blake starts asking questions...

Sonheim: What gives you the right to ask?

Bert: (Blake impression) 'I'm Blake, this is my show...' (Noticing Sonheim and Pasco) Oh my god, it's more Time Lords...

Ceefax: If you pushed them off a cliff, they could just glide down...

Bert: Like His Divine Shadow does!

Ceefax: Or the Dork Knight...

Mandrian (played by Ceefax's bloke's uncle) gets a close-up.

Bert: I can see the vaguest family resemblence there... Very vague, but very disturbing.

Levett makes an appearence.

Ceefax: She looks like a horse. Look at her jaw, for god's sake, I think she was on testosterone or something...

Blake: You were all knocked out by Sonovapour, but at sometime in the last twelve hours, your pilot was murdered.

Ceefax: Duh duh duh duum...

Blake: And since you're the only people here on board...

Bert: Great, Blake is Agatha Cristie.

The crew move to the flight deck, where Avon is doing nasty things to the main computer.

Dr Kendall: Just after we started back on the return trip there was a burnout in the main circuits. Grovane, the communications officer, thought the damage couldn't be accidental.

Bert: Grovane?

Ceefax: Grovane.

Bert: God, who came up with the names for this programme?

Ceefax: I'm still gonna go for Terry Nation...

Bert: I'm gonna slap him... I'm so gonna hit that man.

Mandrian calls them from section nine...

Bert: I like their communicators. (Pause) I think. (Another pause) No, wait, they're still pens. But theirs are more like highlighter pens.

Ceefax: (As Avon removes a vital part of the Ortega's computer) Ooo, look, a ping-pong ball! (Avon impression) 'Cally, I bet you can't get three of these in your mouth...'

Bert: (Cally impression) 'No, but I can do tricks with them... in a place you really wouldn't expect.' Meanwhile, horse woman and your bloke's uncle stand in a corridor.

Ceefax: That's not horse woman, that's the other one. Blonde one and Blonde two... (That last sentence is a lot more funny if you've seen the episode of Exploitica to which Ceefax is referring. Sorry)

Bert: (As Ceefax's bloke's uncle gets another close-up) No! Stop it! Go away! It's the nose, the nose is the same... Look! No, wait, that's Blake... Look! Look! Your boyfriend's nose is on the telly!

The action moves to Dr Kendall's bedroom.

Bert: Ooo, love the bed.

Ceefax: You'd never get a girl in that.

Bert: You'd never get a man in that.

Dr Kendall opens his safe, and shows Blake his neutrotope.

Ceefax: Mmm, lunch.

Bert: Today's fish is trout a la creme.

Blake: Well, what is it?

Ceefax: 'Tis a nugget... of purest green...'

Bert: Less a nugget, more a splat... I actually respect Blake there, though, as he's the one who posed the question, 'what is it?' Saves me doing it.

Dr Kendall points out his home planet (Destiny. Hence the title).

Blake: Yes, I've heard of that. It was colonized what, about a hundred years ago?

Bert: Don't be such a smart-arse, Blake.

Ceefax: He must have done geography at school. Space geography. (Noticing the decor) Ooo, I like his little bedside table. Looks like a slice of starfruit.

Bert: It should spin. And have cupboards in every segment. And you could put all your favourite things in the cupboard and spin it round randomly...

Ceefax: ...and then go 'Ooo, a lovely thing!'

Blake examines the neutrotope more closely...

Bert: Blake, don't pick up the little green things... That's good advice for life in general...

Dr Kendall: This neutrotope and the few others that exist are the most valuable objects in our Galaxy.

Bert: Great, the most valuable thing in the galaxy is a green bottle...

Ceefax: (singing) 'Ten green bottles...' Sorry.

Avon shows up.

Bert: He's looking rather lovely there... Hang on, is he wearing lipstick?

Ceefax: Possibly...

Bert: No, definitely.

Back in the crew room...

Bert: Where did they all come from?

...Avon tells them all about their knackered engines.

Ceefax: 'Your ping-pong ball is completely burnt out. I'm afraid you'll have to play chess on the way back.'

Bert: 'But the good news is, Cally can do a trick... It will keep you entertained in the months to come.'

Ceefax: 'She can teach it to your horsey woman, if you like...'

Without it's ping-pong ball, the Ortega is too slow to get to Destiny on time. However...

Blake: Liberator can make the journey in four days.

Bert: Ooooooooooooo!

Ceefax: 'My ship's better than your ship...'

Mandrian gets another close-up...

Bert: Lose the beard. Actually he'd look a bit like Blake without the beard... Aw, Blake looked really upset there!

Ceefax: (Blake impression) 'They don't want me to take their green thing...'

Blake: There is a risk that if you entrust it to me, I may fly off never to be seen again.

Bert: Woo-hoo! (pause) I'm sorry. Reflex action. Wait, is that the horse woman, there?

Ceefax: Look at the jaw, man, you can tell by the jaw. If it's got a huge jaw and a cleft chin, it's the horse lady. If it hasn't, it's the other little blonde thing.

Dr Kendall: And anyway, after what's happened here, it may well be safer with Blake.

Ceefax: 'Believe me, for I have a larger collar than you...'

Bert: So that's how the ranking system works...

Levett gets a close-up...

Bert: Bloody hell... Un cheval.

The crew vote to give Blake the neutrotope, and Dr Kendall sends Sara to fetch it.

Bert: (Sara impression) 'I'm happy, because I don't look like a horse.'

Avon: Personally, I don't care if their whole planet turns into a mushroom. I shall stay because I don't like an unsolved mystery.

Bert: Oooo, table of milk, saucer two! ...or saucer of milk, table two... Whichever you prefer.

Dr Kendall: Don't fail us.

Bert: (Dr Kendall impression) 'Please... it's our only episode, pleeeease...!'

Cally: My people have a saying...

Bert: Oh, god... hello, Guinen.

Back on the ship, Blake sets course for Destiny.

Zen: Confirmed.

Bert: That was very lecherous... 'OK, who set Zen to Zsa Zsa Gabor, again?' 'Set course...' 'Ceerrtenly my dahhhhlings! Anything for you.'

On the Ortega, Cally's wandering around with Rafford's porn scanner.

Ceefax: Meanwhile, Cally's cleaning the blood off the thing using her tits. Or lack thereof.

Cally: (About the scanner) Yes it is important.

Bert: 'Because I say so! I'm the utterly useless psychic bird!'

Cally goes for laser transfer linkage, and comes across Mandrian doing something suspicious to a small device...

Ceefax: (Mandrian impression) 'I can't get into this fucking packet of cigarettes... Why do they have to put so much cellophane on?'

Bert: Ah, stealth Cally. See her fling herself against the wall, blending in with her camoflage outfit. She moves like a shadow...

Mandrian leaves, without noticing Cally.

Bert: What?! This guy needs killing! In a vaguely cool way, of course, being your bloke's uncle, but still...

Cally sneaks in, pinches his device...

Ceefax: ...and puts it down her pants...

...then leaves, hiding his bag under the mattress.

Bert: Excuse me, for the last three days I have been yelled at for not making beds properly, and that is really bad. I'll just blame this show from now on... 'That's how they make them on Blake's 7!'

Cally stops by the crew room to ask for directions.

Bert: Ooo, I wanna play that game! Whatever it is...

Ceefax: I think it's... stone arranging...

Pasco: (About Sonheim) Don't mind him, he lacks affection.

Bert: (Pasco impression) 'And he's so crap in bed... Still, the beds are so small here, it makes things difficult...' She curtsied!

Ceefax: Ponsy alien cow.

Bert: Is there any other kind?

Cally heads down the blue corridor to some strange background music.

Bert: It's the Addams Family theme. From the New Addams Family, that's the theme!

Ceefax: So which one's Cally?

Bert: ... Thing. The one that does nothing useful.

Sara runs by crying. Bert does sarcastic crying noise.

Ceefax: Blonde One... (Again with the Exploitica. More apologies)

Bert: Cally could be really pretty if she chopped her head off.

Mandrian strikes a pose.

Bert: I bet he did it. It was him. Your boyfriend's uncle's the bad guy! (About Cally) What is she doing?

Ceefax: Sneakin'! And finding laser transfer linkage.

Bert: And finding the thermostat by the looks of things. That's a crap torch. It's like this light we've got in our toilet now, because we don't want to switch the light on in the middle of the night as it starts up the huge great fan. It lights up the toilet roll, and that's it. All you can see in the darkness... (About the storage hold now) It's not even that dark in there!

Ceefax: That's because of all the huge lights for the filming.

Dortmunn's body falls on Cally, and Bert sings a chorus of 'It's Raining Men.' Sonheim sneaks up behind Cally and puts his hands on her shoulders.

Ceefax: Was he going for a Vulcan nerve pinch, there?

Bert: I thought it was a praying mantis impression.

Back in the crew room, Dr Kendall's trying to figure out what the motive was for killing Dortmunn.

Avon: Try greed. It's usually reliable.

Bert: (Avon impression) 'And I should know...'

Avon: But it did cross your mind, didn't it?

Bert: (Avon impression) 'Your dirty little mind! Yes? Yes! Yes! Ahhhh haa haaa haaaaaaaa!' Right, Avon. Still, Avon's insane, so he's allowed to be mad. All those little bits on his chest, that look like a control panel? Someone's set them to nutty. It's Blake, he's been fiddling with his knobs again.

Ceefax: He wishes.

Sara: An accident?!

Bert: (Colombia (or possibly Magenta) impression) An accident!!!

Cally: Whoever put the Sonovapour into the ventilation system...

Bert: 'Is a very naughty boy! Now own up!'

Ceefax: 'Fine, we'll have to keep everyone behind...'

Sara gets a close-up.

Bert: Very nervous looking Blonde Two. Or One. Blonde... thing.

Ceefax: Blonde horsey one. Or is that the horsey one? No, that's the other one...

Bert: They're a pantomime horse, together they make up the one horse.

Levett: Meticulous?

Bert: Ah, there's the horse. Come on, girl, give us a whinney! I think Terry Nation's been reading too many crime novels. 'I deduce that the murderer was... on the ship!'

Ceefax: '...at some point...'

Bert: '...during the time when... everyone else was on the ship. I rest my case.'

Avon: (While looking into the camera) The murderer settled for the next best thing - he launched an empty life rocket.

Bert: Why's he telling us? We don't know anything!

Ceefax: No-one else's listening to him.

Bert: Ok! Ok, it was meee! Sorry, I crack under pressure... The eyes, the eyes...

Ceefax: He'd make a good Cardassian, actually.

Bert: Very good. Or a Vorta.

Ceefax: Ooooo, Vorta...

Avon: I know - we all know, that one of you is the murderer.

Bert: So, after all this chatting around we've finally come to the conclusion that one of them might be the murderer?

Dr Kendall: Anything that you see or hear that seems unusual, report to me at once.

Bert: 'Sir!' 'Yes?' 'Cally...?'

Grovane: There could be somebody else on the ship, somebody we don't know about, a stowaway!

Bert: Oo, he's good.

Ceefax: So, all the obvious conclusions have been dealt with...

Bert: Except that they were all asleep, so for they know, it could have been the Blake's 7 crew who did it...

Back on the Liberator, Gan's handing around drinks.

Bert: So, Gan's the stewardess?

Ceefax: Jenna flies the ship, Vila sleeps, Blake leads, and Gan makes the tea.

Bert: He's changed his clothes! No, wait, no he hasn't. I got all hopeful there.

Zen: Estimated flight time of eighty-four hours would increase to three hundred and thirty-six hours.

Jenna: Four times as long.

Zen: Confirmed.

Ceefax: Ooo, maths.

Blake: Is there enough reserve power to maintain the wall?

Bert: No.

Zen: Insufficient data for accurate projection.

Bert: See? Me and Zen, same level.

Vila: Let's go round.

Ceefax: I'm with him.

Bert: Oh, I bet you wish you were!

Cut back to the Ortega.

Bert: Nice arse-shot of Cally, there... Is this really wise? Murderer at loose on the ship, 'let's all wander 'round by ourselves!'

Cally: Sonheim, there was something I wanted to ask you.

Ceefax: (Cally impression) 'If I show you mine...'

Bert: 'And you show me all four of yours...'

Ceefax: ...blimey.

Cally: Why did you follow me to the storage hold?

Ceefax: Rumpy pumpy!

Sonheim: Why do you think? You're an attractive girl.

Ceefax: Thank you. (About Sonheim) What's wrong with his eye?

Bert: He's drunk, that's why he thinks she's attractive. And meanwhile, Avon's trying going to the other side of the control panel and working upside down. (Avon impression) 'I think I found the problem, they had it upside down all along. Damn, I'm good at this.'

Ceefax: He has long rods.

Bert swoons. Avon and Cally discuss possible suspects.

Bert: So... he's Holmes and she's Watson.

Ceefax: Possibly...

Bert: Well, Watson never really did anything uselful, did he? He just sort of hung around in the background and went 'Oh, Holmes, that's marvelous!' a lot. Meanwhile Holmes is going 'I'm high on several illegal substances... He did it!' 'Mr Holmes said he did it, he must have done it!' 'Sir, that's the dog...'

Mandrian goes into the filter room.

Ceefax: Never walk backwards into rooms. No good can come of it.

Bert: Especially when there's a big murderer running around the ship...

Mandrian: I knew you'd be here.

Bert: Well, yes, we're watching it...

Back on the Liberator...

Bert: They're playing Asteroids. At at a time like this, they're playing Asteroids! Jenna, hit the big one, it's a thousand points!

Ceefax: Nah, I think it's that bloody level in Earthworm Jim...

Bert: Oh, I hated that...

Ceefax: Fucking Psycrow... he always stole all the go-faster bubbles. And if you missed just one, he'd zoom ahead of you and get all the others, and then you had to go and jump around and whip him with your head, and it was all bad...

Bert: Whipping. Heh heh...

Cally: Avon, I saw Mandrian with this. [Shows him electrical device] Then he put it back in the bottom of Sara's flight bag.

Ceefax: (Cally impression) 'Then I pinched it and put it down my pants...'

There is some commotion, and then...

Bert: They've killed your bloke's uncle! How could they...? Now he'll have to move on to better, more interesting things... Like proper acting! I'm sorry, but Blake's 7 isn't exactly the height of your acting career, is it?

Ceefax: Are you kidding?! Blake's 7 is everything... (About her bloke's uncle) Apparently he had to be dead for so long, he kept falling asleep.

On the Liberator...

Bert: That shot displayed your mum's haircut very well. You should get a picture of your mum and superimpose Blake onto it...

Ceefax: No, I really don't want to do that, please, if you don't mind.

Bert: Maybe in an alternate reality, you mum is Blake, just the female version.

Ceefax: Stop it... not good...

Jenna's steers, dramatically.

Bert: (Jenna impression) 'These... handbags... are really... heavy!'

Ceefax: I think Gan's gonna burst...

And off the Liberator...

Bert: (About Sara) She looks like a goat...

Ceefax: Great, Goat Girl and Horse Woman.

Avon: The damage was minor. I've got (slight pause) Levett working on it.

Ceefax: He forgot the name, there.

Grovane: But I saw him with a dagger in his hand!

Ceefax and Bert: Is this a dagger I see before me?

Dr Kendall: Then, somebody else was the saboteur?

Avon: Yes.

Bert: (Avon impression) Yes. Very good. Now you may have a treat.

Avon starts to waffle about who killed everyone.

Pasco: What's it mean?

Avon: Absolutely nothing.

Ceefax: Damn, he's good.

The significance of the numbers on Rafford's porn scanner is revealed via Avon and his marker pen.

Ceefax: And now on Blake's 7... the gallery.

Bert: Oh god... it's the magic pen thing from Look and Read... 'Up... and down... and flick...'

Ceefax: You know, I'd actually forgotton that?

Everyone's figured out that Sara's the killer, and now she's threatening them.

Ceefax: Oh no, she's got a... loudspeaker. Or possibly a dildo.

Bert: Or a hairdryer.

Ceefax: Could be a hairdryer.

Bert: Did we ever suspect Goat Girl?

Sara: I'll kill the first one that puts his head outside this door.

Ceefax: Cally, off you go...

Bert: Is Avon wearing flares?

Ceefax: Yep.

Bert: And what look like high heels?

Ceefax: Yep.

Bert: He's wearing flares and high heels?

Ceefax: Yep.

Bert: Oh my god...

Ceefax: He wears high heels a lot. It's because he's only wickle.

Bert: That's so cool... Avon's a transvestite.

Ceefax: I don't think flares really count as transvestiteism.

Bert: High heels...?! Oh they do.

Cally takes the device from out of her pants. Bert does sound effects (Editor's note: it's actually in her pocket. It's just that said pocket is somewhat indelicately placed). She hands it to Avon.

Ceefax: Ew, no, don't hold it...

On the Liberator, the neutrotope is found to be missing. Bert does sarcastic gasp. Cut back to the Ortega...

Bert: That was quite a nifty little door handle, there.

Ceefax: All square and stuff.

Sara gloats over her lovely shiny neutrotope.

Bert: My preciousssss...

The crew plan to lure her out...

Bert: I don't know if it's the light, but red and green streaks really suit Avon.

The Liberator crew track the Ortega, and the mysterious craft closing in on her...

Bert: 'It's a cheese Dorito, sir!'

The Ortega crew trick Sara by pretending to be dead.

Ceefax: Aw, look how happy she is...

Bert: Go goat girl, go goat girl, go goat girl..

A brief scuffling match between Avon and Sara breaks out, He wins.

Bert: Go on, Avon. He's not afraid to slap a woman around. Blake, however...

Ceefax: He hit her in the jaw, why's she clutching her head?

Blake arrives with teleport bracelets, but Sara just chucks hers across the room.

Bert: You're going to get blown up, you silly cow.

Everyone's safe on the Liberator (Apart from Sara), when the nasty ship and the Ortega blow up.

Ceefax: Looks like the Dr Who opening titles. Or, alternatively, that little blinky thing they used to have on the bridge of the Enterprise.

The episode ends while Ceefax is still going through the exact position of the little blinky thing.

Bert: I wasn't paying attention to any of that.

Ceefax: Goat Girl did it.

Bert: All for a small bottle of green and red stuff...